Melissa Ariane Rainer

I found out I was expecting my first baby on march 19, 1992. This was the day before my birthday.My due date was 0ct 10, 92.I was so excited!!!
I had a wonderful pregnacy, I did how ever did have alot of morning sickness.
at my first appointment, I got to hear her heartbeat.I was in awe to hear another heartbeat within me.I was so in love with this child already.
We had our first ultrasound at 18 weeks, and she ( we didnt find out then that she was a girl, but I knew)she was flipping and flopping, waving her little hands.
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I was just beginning to feel her move the last of may, first of june.once she started moving, it seemed like she wasnt going to quit!!I loved to just lay there and feel her move around.
The second week of june, my husband and I went to little river state park here where we lived, and were planning on a pic nick and just enjoying a nice after noon.I got tired sitting out in the sun, so I decided to go into the building where the snack room and changing room are as I was going in, I had no idea that two boys were fighting in there.As I am going through the door, one boy hits the other boy, THAT boy falls into me, I hit the door fram, and hit the floor belly first.The kid jumps up never asks me how I am and runs off.
I get up and immediatly feel sick, I go and find my husband, and tell him what happened.we leave and he takes me to the hospital to get checked.I see the dr and he tells me not to worry , that you can throw a baby off of a 5 story building in its bag of waters and it will be ok, he send me home.
A week later I wake up ( I have been having pains around my belly button all day).I got to the bathroom, and my water breaks!! I freak out so bad, because I know the baby is WAY to early, I was only 26 weeks at that point.The other reason I am freaking out is because I am bleeding really bad.
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We go to the hospital, and they put me on antiboitics to keep me from getting an infection, and put a moniter on the baby to make sure she is ok.They then decide to send me to another hospital 2 hours away that has a neonatal unit.
The ambulance crew monitors my baby the whole ride down, and her heart beat is steady all the way down.
I get to the other hospital, and get admited, and EVERYTHING goes down hill from there.
They check my baby and prep me for a c section.
They then ask me for my insurance, and find out that I am on medicaid.They tell me that they decided against the c section.They then put me in a private room, and leave me there for a few hours.I keep calling my nurse and she gets tired of it and takes the call button and puts it out of reach.
I lay there a while longer and I start bleeding really bad again, I start yelling for my nurse, and when she comes in I tell her that I feel funny like there is something bulging out of me, she pulls up my sheets and tells me its the baby and not to touch it.She leaves to go find a dr.
I REACH DOWN AND I CAN FEEL MY BABYS FEET!!!
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At this point, the whole room fills with drs and nurses, they start telling me to push, and I keep hearing comments about how much I am bleeding.The next thing I know, I am out.
I wake up, and the is this dr at the foot of my bed, and he has my legs in sturrips He has scappel and is about to go in me with it.He dose not even realize that I am awake again until I start screaming.
He is telling me that he is about to do a dnc on me and I refuse it.
I am weak, cold and shaking .One of the nurses brings me a couple of warmed blankets and then everyone leaves my room.
I am alone for an hour or so, then this sweet dr comes in.I ask him about my baby, and at the point I didnt know she was gone.He tells me that he is so sorry that she didnt make it.My heart was broken.
The dr asked me if I wanted to see my daughter and f course I tell him yes.
He goes and comes in with this tiny little bundle.he is holding her as if she was t he most precious thing on earth.
The dr ( he wasnt the one who delivered my baby) tells me to be careful with her, as there was some trauma during delivery.
I unwrap my babys blanket , and gaze upon the face of a tiny angel.She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!!She has my nose and lips, and her daddys ears.
I unwrap the blanket further to see her hands and little feet.I then find out what the trauma was.
The had decapitated my daughter during delivery.Instead of trying to help her ease out when she got hung ( she was breech) the dr "cut" her head off.Whether or not Melissa was alive at this point has never been proven.
When I see this, I freak out, and my parents freak out.The nurse takes my baby and leaves the room.
I am put into recovery since I am still bleeding.I have had a massive placental abruption and have nearly bled to death.
I dont remember much else about that night, but the next day isnt any better.
I have to sign the papers to release Melissas body the next morning, and the dr comes in and tells me that sometimes that premature baby are decapitated during breech deliveries, it happens he says.
My Mom isnt buying this and goes to the mourge to get my baby.She stays gone for over an hour.
When my mom and my friend jennifer come back to my room, jennifer is carrying a brown paper sack, and Mom looks furious.I asked Jennifer what was in the bag and she didnt say anything Mom told her to hurry and get in the car.
When I get home, I go t the funeral home to make arrangements and to see Melissa one more time, I wanted some pictures of her, and the hospital wouldnt bring her back to me.
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when we get to the funeral home, they refuse to let me see Melissa, I beg and cry , and they tell me that she is in no shape to be seen .My Mom procedes to tell me what happened at the hospital.She and jennifer go to the mourge to get Melissas body and they tell her that they cant find her body .Mom starts rasing cain, and the head nurse there says something to the other nurse, and goes into her office.
the young nurse feels sorry for us, she tells my mom.Mrs.Rainer, they are on the phone trying to get a court order so they dont have to release the babies body.I know ehere your grand daughter is....
They didnt even put her in the cooler, she is wrapped in garbage back, and they are going to incenerate her.She tells my Mom to hold on that she has something for her.The nurse returns with a brown paper sack and hands it to Mom, she tells Mom, take this and dont stop no matter who tries stop you .
So, my baby girl had to be snuck out of the hosptial in a brown grocery bag.
I love Melissa just as much now as I ever did.I hate so much that I dont have a picture of her.



Sweet angel, rest well baby girl!! Mommy will always love you!!!